- "I'm swimmin' with the fishes!"
- ―Wise Guy
The Wise Guys are a branch of the Weasel Mafia gang of weasels. It consists of four members: Frankie, Chicho, Paulie, and Ali.
Frankie (not to be confused with Franky), a.k.a. Mr. Blue, seems to be the first member of the gang, as he is first to be addressed by Don Weaso in his room in the Uga Buga chapter, as well as in the Heist multiplayer mode.
He can be played in the Multi mode if the player chooses to be in team Blue.
Chicho, a.k.a. Mr. Green, seems to be the second gang member. He was the second to be addressed by Don Weaso in the Uga Buga chapter, however was the last to be addressed in the opening cutscene of the Heist multiplayer mode, but the second in the closing cutscene, if the player would happen to lose.
He can be played in the Multi mode if the player chooses to be in team Green.
Paulie, a.k.a. Mr. Red, seems to be the third member, however, he previously had done something against Don Weaso's will, and had been punished for his wrongdoing by getting beaten to death with a Baseball Bat. He was the third to be addressed to in the Uga Buga chapter, where afterwards he had gotten the beating. An extended version of the scene found in the dummied code explained that the reason he was executed, beyond showing disrespect to Don Weaso, was that he had been caught embezzling Weaso's money behind his back, and had been the most recent person to do so until Conker was busted for trying to take cash from the Rock Solid club. The scene had been cut because of a Pokémon reference where Don Weaso tried to "catch" a Pikachu by whacking it with a baseball bat only to fail, as Nintendo "didn't want [their] baby bashed." He was the second to be addressed in the opening cutscene of the Heist Multi mode. However was the last to be addressed in the multi mode's closing cutscene, and was also shown drowning as well, if the player would happen to lose.
He can be played in the Multi mode if the player chooses to be in team Red.
Ali, a.k.a. Mr. Yellow, seems to be the least mentioned last member of the gang. He was the only member to not be addressed by Don Weaso in the Uga Buga Chapter, however was the third to be addressed in the Heist multi mode, under the alias Mr. Yellow. His name was only mentioned in the closing cutscene of the multi mode, if the player were to lose.
He can be played in the Multi mode if the player chooses to be in team Yellow.
In Multi mode's Heist, one of the weasels has to get the bag of money and return it to their respective-colored safe. The one who gets a certain amount of money bags(or the most) first, is the winner. Alternatively when playing with lives, killing all of the others can allow one to win.
Don Weaso will praise the winner and promote him to be his "number one", and take him out for a drink. Upon losing, a scene will be shown of what happened to one of the members. Their feet will be attached to a cement block, and drowning in a pool of water.
"I'm swimmin' with the fishes!""It didn't hafta happen like this!"
"This is the end..."
"Right, in between the eyes..."
"Ah, heavy weapon!"
"Got the dough, time to blow"
"Give me the money ya cock sucker!"
"I'm outta here!"
"Sprayed his ass everywhere"
"Slice n' dice!"
- The Wise Guys' individual codenames in the Heist multiplayer game are a reference to Reservoir Dogs.
- The Wise Guys can be unlocked to play as on all Deathmatch maps by entering the code "CHINDITVICTORY"
- In Deathmatch, which of the Wise Guys you can play as depends on what player number you are.